The importance of weekends

Today marks the last day of my first experience of working a 40-hour week. As long as I take care of food, water, hygiene, breaks, and sleep, I can make it. I really just need to care for myself, physically. It also helps to have family to help with food preparation.

Now that I have two days to myself, I’m also wondering how to spend it. Not to reference “Phineas & Ferb” or anything, but it’s a legitimate question. I have a binder full of stuff I can read, I need to figure out if I have any potential benefits, and I can review my notes.

I can also get back to my macramé; my seed beads and cord have been sitting out here for over a week (though they aren’t dusty yet), and I have a better handle on my design process, now: try different things. You won’t know what it looks like, unless you try different things. In this way, an idea develops from a rudimentary stab at embodying a concept, into multiple versions and pathways that you won’t be able to experience without seeing and feeling (and making) them in hard form.

Just thinking about possibilities isn’t going to work as well (if at all). Those thoughts are the seeds. The trials are the work; the trials are how things develop into reality. Without that, it’s all dreaming; no production, no creating.

And it is okay to work in Decorative Art. I realize that, now; and I also wonder whether the idea that it isn’t okay, is due to my Literature training (Fiction writing, I’ve found to be conflict- and message-driven), and my training in Fine Art (where we were always looking for underlying meaning behind our images).

It’s also okay to make things with my hands that aren’t pictures. Seriously. Craft is not below Art. It’s just a concept and practice that overlaps Art, though as to whether it is truly a different or separable thing (to me), is something I haven’t yet resolved. I did, however, read that most ancient art qualifies as, “Decorative,” now…I don’t know if you can know how good that makes me feel; that I’m not alone or isolated in wanting to make beautiful things.

Best-Maugard’s book, A Method for Creative Design, has helped with my design process — and I find design applies in both Art (for me right now, drawing) and Craft (for me, beadwork). I recently was able to obtain a used copy for about $25. The only drawback is that it came along with a previously unmentioned scent of tobacco smoke, and light though loving wear.

Journaling has also helped me keep track of (and account for) my own thoughts, though I highly doubt it would be as calming or helpful, if I made it to publish. I’ve noticed that I love my fine Pilot Metropolitan with green-blue ink and my calligraphy-nib Pilot Prera with red-orange ink. They kind of automatically help me apply graphic design principles to my writing, along with encouraging me to write by hand. If fountain pens aren’t used regularly, that is — and especially with those two, which I may only think because I’ve had them longer — the ink inside the converter (I’m not using cartridges) evaporates and concentrates. That’s not my goal, especially as my green-blue ink can turn almost black, when that happens.

At this time, I’m just wondering about the possibility of working 40 hours normally. Would I be able to do it? I’m hoping that I get the chance to find out. First, I have to get through this training, which will last for approximately the rest of the month. After that, I have six months of Probation…though I’m thinking everyone expects that to be a learning period.

I am glad to get out of being an Aide, though, primarily because Aide work is so physical, and I’m no longer a young adult. My body can’t handle what it used to. I also have a lot more to offer than my physical strength, and eye for detail and pattern recognition.

It will also be awesome to be able to read things that aren’t textbooks, again. And it will relate to my employment.

What I’ve noticed is that it is an almost completely different experience to serve in the Children’s Area, than it is to serve in the Adult Area…though I should be able to reflect further on that, later this weekend (I intend for it to be here, but it may not end up that way). I’ve only spent two hours so far in hands-on training in the Children’s Area…I just, well, have become in a way acclimated to being around kids from working as an Aide in a Public Library for as long as I have.

The major thing I’m thinking of is that I’ve known my share of Aides who do not like to shelve, or when they do shelve, they only like to shelve the Adult and Young Adult areas. Due to the local climate of my old library, the Shelvers were faced with a dilemma every time they worked in the Kids’ Section, which I don’t find to be of personal benefit to go into; but let it be known that I’ve found that library to be a bit unusual, now that I’m no longer there.

I’m just really happy that I get to help the kids in a way I couldn’t, before.

Maybe I should have picked up more jobs at different libraries before even applying for a position as a Library Assistant, but I’m here now. Multiple people have told me that I can’t live in the past, and just to do my best, moving forward. It applies with ergonomics; it applies with regretting not having become a Library Assistant sooner; and it applies with certain mistakes I’ve made in my history. I just can’t linger over those errors for the rest of my life; I’ve seen that happen in other people, and I realize that it keeps them from developing beyond it. Reliving those experiences over and over again for years or decades doesn’t, actually, help solve the problems they present.

My present consideration — as regards work — is whether to opt for more time on the Kids’ Service Desk, just because it’s more difficult, or whether to take the easy way out and stay mostly in the Adult section. I don’t know, that is, whether my Manager rewards risk-taking and growth (doing the hard stuff so that I can learn), or comfort and success with what’s already known (stepping a little out of my comfort zone, but minorly so; easing into the work). I might want to consult with her, on that; though I never have intended to be a Children’s Librarian.

It’s just a very, very different experience between the two Service Desks. I also know that most of the entry-level Public Librarian openings I’ve seen, have to do with Youth, Teen, or Children’s Librarian positions. I can’t do that without having experience working with kids; but, having experience in that area may qualify me for further work, there. Now do I want that?

I’ll have the opportunity to find out, won’t I? :)

As a final note, my Career person has told me that it’s hard to get a job just because you’ve taken classes in the subject. So I shouldn’t say that my MLIS was the end-all and be-all of being a Librarian; in fact, it was only the beginning, in a way that my current training is only the beginning. I’ve been told that it can take 6 months to become truly comfortable with Reference.

I…just think I am lucky to be working with such nice people. I’ve also found that there are many people around me who are in similar situations to my own.

It’s helping me.

New job should help me know what to do next.

I realize it is late at night and I have begun to see things I shouldn’t see; however — today (yesterday, rather) — was my last day as a Library Aide. Tomorrow (or, technically, later today), I have a meeting with someone whose goal is to help me get a job. Another one…I guess. The help was offered, so I took it. Maybe I shouldn’t have…? I’m not sure. At least I’m learning how to write a resumé.

I still haven’t decided whether I would be more suited to information organization, or to Public Service. It would seem I could help more people, more quickly, doing the latter. My major issue here is that I am not really a, “people person,” though I suspect few Librarians get into the field because they are. (Altruism, however, does seem to be very common; as is introversion.)

Of course, this new job will really help me see whether I will do well in Public Service. From the initial time at which I was assessed, to now, I’ve gone through a major change in comfort level in dealing with the public. I’ve also grown to realize the limitations of interacting with the world through a screen.

I suppose it has been almost ten years.

At least I got hired as a Library Assistant before my decade marker of service to the County. It…could have been less than great, to have them announce that I’ve worked for them for ten years and that I was still an Aide (which is almost the lowest rung I could be at, if I don’t count being a Volunteer; though job titles and definitions vary across systems).

Speaking of which, I should really look for that article I printed, which surveys job titles in Academic and Public Libraries. (I think it’s in a pile of stuff on my desk, or maybe in a folder on my bookshelf, with the career stuff.) It could be useful, at least as help in getting an orientation as to what I could actually (specifically) do, having started with a Digital Services concentration. I also might want to ask the person who has been helping me, and the Career Center liaison at my alma mater.

My major issue at this point is not knowing quite where to focus my energies, because I still don’t know exactly where I want to be, yet. Academic? Public? Reference? Digital Library? Web Development or Metadata? Collection Development? Cataloging?

(Of course, yes, I now realize that most of these fall under “Technical Services”…)

Right now I’m trying to focus on Reference Services, which is a specialty in itself. However, a Library Assistant or Librarian is going to be doing a lot more than answering Reference questions…which I’ll come to know more about in the coming weeks.

I still haven’t gotten back to the JavaScript course, which I’ll likely want to, as I reported being enrolled in it to my job search people. I’ll also want to finish Defusing Hostile Customers, and break into Online Searching, though I think I’ve mentioned that, before. I can also review my text on Reference & Information Services…though I think reading through that last 300 pages is a pretty tall order. If I had been going through one chapter a day, it would be something else…but it isn’t an engaging read, and I might be able to find a simpler and more concise version of the same information.

(Note: take some of these books in, tomorrow!)

Or, at least, I’ll want to isolate myself so that I have no distractions and can buzz through it quickly. I also recall a Librarian telling me that it might be more practical to look through the resources we have in our system, as versus reading a book which cites references that we just do not have access to. So maybe I can study our Reference sources, and get into free online sources, and that will be better!

I’m also remembering something from a while back, where it was observed that I’m great at generating ideas, but narrowing my focus to one thing to work on, is itself a challenge for me. So the challenge is to focus. It’s not necessarily a bad thing to leave off of one activity in order to work more intensely with the hand I’ve currently been dealt…but, I also have a tendency to wander (I was rambling earlier tonight and may be rambling again now, for example), which isn’t good when it comes to targeted job searching.

Maybe I’ll want to work on focusing on the Reference Services part of this for the very-short-term, as it’s coming up and will be my life for most of the next month. After that, I can focus on driving (so I can be hired as a Librarian after getting my license), and finding a more permanent (more permanent, not necessarily rest of my life permanent) vocational position.

Of course, being a substitute…I’ll get to meet a lot of people and sample a lot of environments. If I can, from that, work out at least a hierarchy of where I would most like to work, I can then prepare to move into a position as a rooted Library Assistant or Librarian, as my next step. That would come with more stability in hours, job benefits, likely more responsibility (programming!), and I could log my time so that I could find a location I wanted to work at. It isn’t really until I might become senior that I would even have the opportunity to work within the Virtual Library, I think — at least, within my current system.

I’d also have a pretty broad spectrum of skills, by that point…and I would know more about where I wanted to be. Is learning multiple Web Programming languages, and staying on top of them, my best bet? Or can I work with people? Would I like working with people, if I were fully empowered to work with them? How much of my emotional imprint of working with the public been skewed by not being able to try to help our patrons as fully as I’ve wanted to? How many negative reactions stemmed from lack of skill on my part, and have I learned from those interactions? (Every time.)

That’s got to help, in some way…

Grounding myself, collecting my thoughts.

I have been hesitant to get back on my computer, recently. It seems I’m getting less narcissistic, though something that came up in the composition of this post is purpose.

After having gone through an online Master’s program, I’m increasingly valuing my time away from the computer, and questioning how much computer use is ideal in my life. It’s why I accepted the offer of working for a Public Library just recently, in a Public Services capacity. This is as versus putting more energy into Web Programming.

I’ve learned a good deal about the psyches of my co-workers, and actually, even though people can be irritating at times, getting to know their personalities and why they like (and dislike) what (and whom) they do, is interesting. As well, the difference in worldview and outlook between lower-level support staff through paraprofessionals through professionals, is interesting. Although I don’t think I would get a PhD in Psychology, I’m just becoming more interested in the inner workings of people, as versus machines.

Maybe that’s a reason I became interested in the Humanities, in the first place. Way back, it was just easier for me to experience others through writing, than through interaction. I think I’m getting better at the latter, though.

If I were thinking about things in an alchemical sense, I believe math, logic, programming, and philosophy would be related to an Air element, while what I’ve been doing recently — with writing by hand, and dealing with crystals (which has gotten me interested in geology, chemistry, and physics again) — is likely related to the Earth element. For a very long time, I have had severe problems with grounding…or, in other words, I lived within my thoughts more than I lived in the external world.

In a case like this, avoiding the computer for other projects — like reading physical books (which I’ll have to do, as a Librarian) — it’s a step in the direction of reconnecting with physicality. I actually can say that’s pretty important, even though for me, it’s difficult.

It shouldn’t be: for almost all of recorded history, there was no Web to addict people, or to virtually replace peoples’ lives, or to escape into. But for most of my life, I’ve heavily depended on my intelligence, whether that was my intellect or my sense of spirituality. I also know that I need to continue reconnecting with physicality…like by helping more with food preparation, and getting out and exercising. And, maybe, dealing with friends, or with people I would like to be friends.

It’s possible that having an impact on my environment — via my work and via my social experiences — is helping erode the need to “publish” (or write with the goal of readership) all the time. Connecting better with my body and having greater self-knowledge, is likely another reason I find myself becoming more invested in offline life. I’ve been basically tied to the computer for two years…it’s probably not surprising that I don’t want to be on it all the time now, when I don’t have to be.

On top of that…there is, as I’ve mentioned before, risk to writing online. Well — there’s risk where it comes to anything online, really. At the point one realizes this, the question of purpose arises…why, that is, would I share parts of my experience online? And does the possible fulfillment of that purpose outweigh the risk? How much of it is social, and how much of it is purpose-driven?

On one hand, I know that I write to share parts of my life with others. Being able to explain what’s going on as it’s going on, both helps me remember what happened, and I think also has a normalizing effect on the situation and others like it (or at least, that’s the intent). I do believe that I started blogging, however, without a clear purpose or objective in mind. The exception is this blog, which I started as a companion to Ravelry (which I don’t use anymore).

That then turned to crafts other than knit and crochet, like sewing, beadwork, lacework. Over time, it then shifted to commentary on what I had to do for my school and my job, instead of what I did with my free time.

I see my free time decreasing in the near future, and moreso later, especially if I get a full-time job. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing. But it means that I’m seeing I will have to let go of a lot that I did while I had the luxury of extra time.

At that point…I begin to wonder about the core parts of who I am, and what I would take with me, if I had increased resources and decreased time.

One of those things…is the pen hobby. I now have a few fountain pens, which I love. It is a luxury — one doesn’t need expensive pens to write (although none of mine are too expensive: they’re entry-level). But it’s nice to have them, even if it does mean I need to use them frequently. Using them isn’t too much of a problem, when you have a habit of writing for release, or introspection. And when you want the act of writing to be pleasant or customized — or encouraged.

The other thing that I just got back into is mineral collecting, which ties into my mystic side. I haven’t been doing meditation recently, though I should be doing it: exercise and meditation together will reduce my dependence on medication, so that I have the option of going down on my dosage. I feel stable where I am; the only problem is the tendency to gain weight. That, in turn, pretty much forces me to exercise, which will further benefit my mental state.

What I have seen with this is the possibility of crafting a path which enables me to affirm my commitment to extending the time life has on this planet. I don’t believe it will be all straightforward. But it is possible to desire this. It’s also possible to pray for it, or to do spells for it. There’s no proof that will work, but maybe I have greater reach than I think I do.

There is a paradox in using materials extracted from the earth in an attempt to help heal it. The intent to use them to attempt to help the biosphere and its denizens is the reason I feel okay with it. Without that possibility, it’s just collecting; but if I’m going to be collecting pretty things, and not having a lot of time to work with them, maybe this is better than collecting glass beads. For some reason, it does soothe me.

My nature as a human is to create. It might be possible that prayers or directed energy (I don’t know how to describe it in words; all words I’ve known have fallen short) could be useful, even if the mechanics are unexplained.

I wouldn’t be surprised if other things come up in relation to my identity, as I continue to read and write privately. But it’s fairly clear that I have a motive of furthering peace, understanding and harmony, and working against hatred and bigotry. I place a high amount of value on my own integrity, which is why I work in a library system. I also realize the limitations of what I can do as an eventual Librarian, but that doesn’t mean I can’t take action in private.

In this case…it seems as though those goals — exercise, meditation, reading, writing, healing, creation — might be enough to gather around, and focus this blog upon. When I first started blogging as a youth, I don’t know that I had any unifying cause to establish the blog around. Nor did I have an evolved sense of what I was seeking online. I’ve continued in that sense for over twenty years; it’s time to take it to the next level.

I guess I’m just getting older, and thinking things through more.

Continuation of last night: it’s Shungite, not Stibnite

…there’s a big difference. I remembered the name “Shungite” at random, after work today. Shungite is mostly carbon, and apparently safe. Even though Stibnite and Shungite are both steely gray-black and metallic in color, Stibnite has no fracture pattern, while Shungite fractures with a conchoidal pattern, like glass. The sample I have displays this. Shungite also has a much lighter specific gravity than Stibnite. The sample I have is very light. Amazingly light.

I am so relieved. I also am feeling apologetic for assuming my memory was accurate when I remembered the name, “Stibnite,” last night. I don’t know where else the term would have come from, though. Neither do I know why, if I hadn’t run across the term, I would have made up a term I’ve never heard before which refers to a specific actual mineral. Did I see “Stibnite” the other day and then the term stuck and got confused with “Shungite”? Was it labeled “Stibnite” and I got confused (but then the book did say “Shungite” and I recalled it was the same label as the stone)?

Gah. Maybe I should have taken pictures. :)

Anyhow, now I know that I’m safe, and that I can touch the other stuff that was in my purse that day! And my other stones aren’t contaminated! Awesome!

-_-;;

At this point, I’m glad I didn’t tell you all what store I went to. :) I don’t want to unduly impact their other patronage because of a mistake that was my fault. Sorry, guys. You all are sweet, and thank you for tolerating me. -_-/\

Coming up…I need to fill out my Master Application before tomorrow. There’s some other stuff going on with work which is doubtless, good. I should get back to reading more on dealing with difficult customer service situations, and be checking out the resources I’ll have at my disposal. I shouldn’t brag: nothing is set in stone. However, I’ll get to exercise more of my capabilities in my new position.

I’m also dealing with the possibility of finding a second part-time job. Having two part-time jobs may be the norm right now, though. I’m just not sure how much energy to devote to finishing my last position, to prepare for my new position, and to put towards finding another new position. I wouldn’t even be concerned with the latter right now, except that I’m dealing with a special service, and the opportunity arose.

So, we’re moving forward, I guess, though I probably won’t have much time to do anything until October.

It’s okay, I think. I’m a little nervous, but that’s probably normal…

Priorities?

There are a number of things I could and should be doing with my time. Due to constraints, I’m prevented from disclosing everything, right now: but I was able to download my certificate from the last of my short courses, today. I feel that I should go back and review, but at the same time, I’m not really that driven to do so.

I do feel that it’s very probable that I should not be a full-time Cataloging Librarian, although I know some say I would be really good at it. The problem is, the work itself is something I don’t like.

So…what I was saying earlier on this blog — that by August, I’ll know if I want to be a Cataloger — has indeed come to fruition. Although I wouldn’t count out a library job that happens to include it, I know I wouldn’t want to do it as my primary work. Up next is getting back to JavaScript, which so far I haven’t really begun. This is largely because I pretty much hate having to review. I can get back to it, though.

Once I have a handle on at least one Web Programming language, I’ll know if I want to work in Tech — specifically, Full-Stack Web Development. Like I was saying earlier…I think I’d be really engaged in working on Front-End Web Development, including Web Design and User Experience, but Back-End is something I know I don’t particularly like. I’m fairly certain it has to do with the same reason why I feel such a constraint when writing online — that it’s very linear and rule-bound and — well — technical, in a mathematical-logic sort of way. (If it violates logic, that is, it isn’t possible.) It’s just different to work by hand. It’s something that isn’t as tightly bound to logical reasoning.

One of the big reasons I got into Digital Services, though, is that I’m fairly certain that communications and learning are going to move more in the direction of multimedia, and away from just plain text as you can read in books. Because of that, I felt it was worth my while not to just focus on books.

Even text as read online, in e-books — there is a logical jump from reading paper books to reading e-books, and then wondering, with the abilities of a computer, why we’re only replicating print. We could do video, music, image (in larger format than print), interaction, animated illustration and design, gamifying, community-building, and eventually immersion. I think this is the direction in which we’re moving as a society, and it could lower barriers to learning for a lot of people who experience difficulty with traditional instruction (i.e. books, text, lecture).

Of course, I’m not an Instructional Design Librarian — though what I’ve just written makes me think about becoming an Emerging Technologies Librarian. I don’t think I have the undergraduate background for it, though (English!), and I’m also not sure I have the risk tolerance for constantly trying out new technologies (and partitioning my hard drive to routinely restore the operating system, and keeping several levels of backups).

I mean, I’m really into the Arts and Humanities (I think Digital Humanities could be interesting) — I don’t have a Hard Sciences background, so I’m not sure I’ve gone through the intellectual rigor necessary for understanding the possibilities of new technology. I just have the brain to dream up what one day might be (and to some extent, already is) — not whether it’s possible with current technology (or will be possible).

Anyhow. Like I said, there’s a lot I could be doing, and up next is getting back into Web Programming. Also, Japanese language. Also, beadwork and tatting. Also, writing. Also, job search. Also, watercolor. Also, sewing, embroidery, and designing embroidery patterns. I should really prioritize these things, but with everything in flux, I’m having a hard time. Maybe I can try, though:

Not necessary:

• Beadwork (can use this as second income)
• Tatting
• Sewing
• Embroidery
• Watercolor
• Drawing
• Block printing
• Art study (currently: embroidery design) — books

More necessary:

• Web Programming study (useful at work) — digitally and books
• Japanese Language study (useful at work) — by hand and digitally
• Writing in English (skill retention) — by hand or digitally

Essential:

• Job Search (finding better work) — digitally (at Library)
• Learning to drive (finding better work) — activity
• Learning to cook (to feed myself) — activity
• Customer-service study (useful at work) — books

And looking at this, getting another fountain pen and ink is like…well, why?

Why, indeed. Maybe I can do it as efforts toward making a Bullet Journal, and my Bullet Journal could be my excuse to be creative while still working towards getting done what I need to get done…

History: mud and sapphires

Some time has passed. I know I haven’t touched the computer for two days…likely due to the fact that it’s associated for me, now, with work. And…things I don’t want to do, now that I think of getting back to my Library of Congress cataloging work. Ordinarily, I would take this work as something to keep me busy instead of bored…but I’ve gotten to the point where I’m not sure at all that I want to work as a Cataloger in an Academic Library setting.

Cataloging has a lot of arbitrary rules that serve to make catalog entries uniform (which is essential if we are to find things)…the thing is, they’ve been accumulating and building on each other for a couple of centuries, and the difficulty in changing them to keep up with the times is evident in what remains of the old structures.

Having done this work, I can clearly see why I shifted my focus to Digital Services: there’s less of this traditional backlog of rules, to deal with. There is also, though, a much higher need for the use of logic.

The thing with coding is that it shares the same high attention to detail as is required of a cataloger…it just seems from my perspective that — in coding — there are actual reasons for things to be the way they are. If things aren’t formatted a certain way, the computer can’t make sense of it.

For some reason, I’m willing to adapt to a computer’s constrictions, moreso than I am to history’s. I mean…the computer has no choice. It was built the way it was, without having a say in it. History always has had choices.

And at this point, I can kind of see how the mode of thinking behind, “progressivism,” could work…although in the past, I’ve rejected the term “progressive” as it applies to myself. This is because nothing guarantees that society will move forward to a better future. It can, but that doesn’t mean it will become better, or that it is becoming better. As a mirror to this, that doesn’t mean that all societies before ours, were worse than ours (or that First World countries are the so-called pinnacle of Social Darwinism [I’m going to withhold my views on the latter, for now]); or that things now are worse than they’ve ever been (which are both familiar nightmares to some people I’ve known).

What I try and remember is that people in each era (I assume) are trying to do the best they can, with the world, technology, information, and concepts they have. Now, that’s a big assumption. But I try (and I’m trying really hard right now) not to forget the human factor: that in each time, people confront constrictions, and find ways to exist despite them.

Anyhow, learning Library of Congress Classification has been like stepping backwards in time, and not in a fun way. It seriously feels like I spent a bunch of money for this class, only to learn that I don’t want to do the work (or at least, that I don’t want to do the work, full-time).

Do I want to become a Web Developer? I still don’t know about that: I’ll have to try harder and involve myself, first. But at least, I’ll know one more thing I don’t want to do, as I’ll have had some experience with it. If I hadn’t taken this LCC class, I wouldn’t know how much I don’t want to do it, and how much I should maybe just forget about it, for the short term.

Gah.

There’s a lot of stuff I’m not mentioning, right now. Most of it is political. Some of it does make me wish that I could believe in a good-natured Deity, but seeing evidence of the activity of hatred and stupidity… Declaring something as good also means declaring its opposite, or at least, the state of the absence of goodness (or so my readings in Philosophical Daoism would suggest).

And labeling the absence of goodness isn’t really effective at all, in coming to peaceful resolution and coexistence with someone who is seen to be exhibiting a lack of goodness. Because of this, it basically lines the road to coexistence with land mines.

Of course, the other person has likely had no input into what one considers “good” or not, so one big question is whether they can even be held accountable to standards they had no say in defining (although also, of course, they would likely make the definition of “not good” to be whatever they, themselves, were not — should they be given a say. That begs the question of whether we can trust evil people to define goodness). I have a sense, though, that I’m getting into legal philosophy here, so I’ll stop.

In any case…I’ve been getting tired of this. Tired of a lot of things, actually. There’s the political stuff plus the work stuff plus the study stuff plus the injury stuff plus the illness stuff — which in my case does encompass mood symptoms, which can then make me vulnerable to physical illness.

One of the things I have been working on, recently, is tatting lace…which is relatively calming (which is probably why people did it, before)…it kind of takes up a lot of mental capacity that would otherwise be spent worrying. This is one of those historical crafts that I’ve taken interest in — which, apparently, is a new thing again to people in my generation. It kind of makes me wonder if I were on the front line of fashion as regards retro designs and fiber art, and didn’t know it. (Usually, I’m not an early adopter.)

I’ve figured out how to make each individual stitch, though I’m not sure it will make sense if I explain it in words. If I recorded video, it would be different. I just remember the first book I read on it, which was talking about making half-hitches and flipping them onto the opposite cord (you tug the working cord and relax the other cord, and the half-hitch is transferred to the relaxed cord), and I’m thinking to myself, “okay, first you make a half-hitch — then you reverse it — why would you do that???”

It makes more sense when you do it, though I’m still not sure how much sense that is.

I don’t have photos at the moment. I’m not sure if I’ve given up on that, or not. :) The thing is, when you do tatting right, it basically looks exactly like the photos of all the samples that you’ve seen.

Is that a good thing? I’m not sure…

Yesterday

So I want to write, and the thing I want most to write about, is a beadwork design that came to me a few nights ago (I should have dated my design sketch). I am not entirely sure why I want to write about this…kind of like I’m not sure why I want to get off of the computer and stitch, instead of trying to think of essay topics. (It’s pretty clear why I don’t want to do homework: for one thing, I’m too bombed-out from work.)

The lack of understanding of my own urges is something I’ll need to work on. I feel like if I understood what was going on, I could adjust…I guess I’m still not great at giving myself space. For that matter, there’s a lot of psychology that I just don’t understand…

To get it out of the way and off my chest, I did work earlier, though nearly all of that time was spent shelving, cleaning up the library space, and retrieving the book drop. There were two people scheduled to help with the same job besides myself, both of whom were out sick (but I was out sick earlier in the week, too — maybe I should take my nausea more seriously).

Because I’ve been taking care of myself physically (relatively speaking), my healing overuse injury hasn’t been bothering me too much. Thus, I volunteered to spend all of my time chipping away at the backlog of un-shelved items. Yes, I know, stupid. But essentially…I was the only person there in my job title, thus the only person who was there expressly to shelve. I — basically — specialize in it. That, check-in, and sorting.

If I assume that I was shelving at least two carts an hour, and I subtract 45 minutes for the time spent getting the book drop, picking up abandoned items, and going on break, that means that I shelved at least 10-11 carts. I would expect this as a minimum, given that I can shelve a cart in as little as 12-20 minutes, depending on a number of factors.

I also gave up my one hour on Circulation (which would have been less work) to work further on the backlogged shelving. The situation at the end of the day wasn’t too bad, considering I was the only person doing the job, and that when I came in there were — if I’m remembering correctly — seven carts ready to go, with additional carts needing to be sorted. I let backroom staff handle the sorting, and most of check-in, today…which was likely a good decision. As it was, there is still work from today that will need to be handled tomorrow. It’s just nowhere near as bad as it might have been.

So now I’ve talked about that, and we can move on. :) I have been reading in the third edition of Conducting the Reference Interview, which I should probably get back to; though tomorrow, I’ll need to deal with my coursework. Homework…YAAA.

Okay. Maybe I can get to the beadwork stuff without guilt, now? ;) I’ve come up with a variation of Tri Stitch which is basically interlaced. It reminds me of what happens when one makes a fabric out of Right-Angle Weave, instead of a simple chain…though with Tri Stitch you basically get hexagons (or diamonds, now that I look at it: my trial had color accents on the tips of the weaving, so it looked more like a honeycomb).

I wanted to make a woven band (I’ll have to use K.O./Miyuki thread for this; C-Lon Micro is much too thick and stiff for multiple thread passes) with 3mm fire-polished beads (or 6/0 seed beads) going down the center, and embellishments on both edges, like the photo I showed earlier on this blog. Here, I’ve just retrieved it again so you don’t have to hop to the original entry:

The picot edging (lower edge) is what I hope to reproduce in this new design. I used two 11/0 Czech beads and four 15/0 Toho rocailles, here. I might be able to reduce the bulk by using all 15/0s.

I haven’t worked it out in reality yet, though; so I’m not even sure what size bead I’ll need to put in the middle of this in order to avoid scrunching up or distorting the work — I have a feeling I may need to use Japanese 6/0s. Everything I’ve got says that it’s going to be an irregular size, because of the angles in use and the dimensions of the 8/0 beads.

But there’s no real way to tell if I’m right, without actually constructing a model.

I’ve found that social media addiction creeping back up on me, again…which is the reason I stopped using it in the first place. (I can’t live my entire life on the Web!) If I can limit my use of it successfully, maybe I won’t have to worry about it keeping me up at night or away from productive uses of my time.

Then there is the issue of becoming known on social media, for instance around beadwork. ;) Do I want that? Am I happy being an anonymous blogger on WordPress? I’m not sure, but I’d say that I probably am happier on WordPress, for now…

Of course, then we start talking about Pinterest and everything and whether I have a need to join so I can help other people use it, blargh.

I don’t even know what Instagram does…though I just looked it up. Huh.

It’s easier than I had anticipated to make design drawings for this; however…it really (I mean seriously) helps to use bullet-tip markers to draw bead representations, rather than using fineliners. The thing about design drawings is that they don’t translate exactly to whatever you’re designing, due to the precision needed in the dimensions and shapes of the beads. They’re good as notations that will help you figure out where you’re going…but not something one should bet on being able to exactly reproduce IRL.

It also helps me to draw a bead as a straight line, perpendicular to its stringing direction, sometimes.

Anyhow. It’s now 45 minutes after midnight — I should sleep.